Categories
Habit Change Self Love

How to Change the Stories We Tell Ourselves

open book with a roseHow can we change the stories we tell ourselves? In order to change the connection with something we must change the story we are telling about it. Are you aware of your inner stories?

What Story Am I Telling About Food?

Am I telling a story that says “it’s o.k. for me to eat this ice cream because I’m sad today”. Does that make logical sense in the big picture? What other stories could you be telling yourself about food? How can you choose to change your story about food? “Fruits and vegetables are boring. I need to eat something that gives me excitement.” That could be another little story that we tell ourselves. Are you aware of the habitual thought processes flowing through your head? If not, start paying attention and you might be shocked at what you start noticing in your head.

Is My Story Turning On My Stress Response?

How does your body react when some of these stories are told? Does your body go into a stress response? Does it tense up with anger or can you feel guilt in your stomach area? Do you notice if your blood pressure rises when some of these stories are rehearsed? You know the mind is connected to the body so it is no surprise that your body is reacting to whatever false stories, long held, are being told inside your psyche. Again, we aren’t even cognizant of most stories because they have been told for so long.

Don’t forget that a stress response also causes the storage of fat. This process is associated with our evolutionary ancestry because fat storage was a means of survival during stressful times when food was scarce.

There is a better way to re-run these stories so they don’t cause so much inner damage. We can re-tell long-held stories that don’t contribute positive outcomes to our lives.

Beliefs Create Stories

Beliefs are created very young in age by repeated messages flowing from our caretakers. The insidious truth about this generational negativity is the fact it’s mostly unconscious transmission of messages that harm us.

Beliefs are near and dear to us. If you consider the formation and concept of beliefs, you will realize they are utilized as a type of security blanket to fortify ourselves when psychologically challenged. Consequently, if beliefs are sacred to our psyche, we ill unconsciously work to fortify them. We will look for evidence to support our strong-held beliefs. This is an unfortunate cycle that can prevent us from knowing the real truth about a matter.

What if you believe you are fat? Could you be unconsciously creating strategies to support that belief? Yes, it happens often.

Our experience is evidence of what we believe. This might seem scary, but your outer experience is simply being painted by your inner beliefs and these beliefs could be unconscious. If you want to change your life, you must change your beliefs and your stories. Every experience is a direct result of your inner held beliefs. There are ways to change beliefs such as affirmations.

There is a reason many people in spiritual traditions advocate for regular inventory or self-analysis. Through these mechanisms, we can discover beliefs about ourselves and others. Are they true? Have we tested them to discover if they are true? If not, we are simply a puppet being played by our puppet master, which is the strong-willed creator of beliefs. The ego is another name for this inner nemesis, which has plagued mankind for eons. There is a way out, but it takes awareness and practice to cultivate and inculcate new inner beliefs.

Finding Peace and a New Story

So formulate your new story about food, exercise, health, self-esteem, etc. You can do this through a myriad of methods, which I’ve discussed previously in other posts.

Before changing your story, you must become aware of your present story. One of my greatest awakenings has been a new level of awareness regarding my inner thought streams. Sometimes I am shocked that I can catch a thought multiple times per day, which is critical of someone else. A critical thought will just pop into my head about someone else or a group of people. I realize in that moment, “wow, this thought is so habitual that it just pops into my head regularly from nowhere an usually I go along with it and nurture it. Right now, I’m deciding to let it go and focus on something else more positive.” This kind of change will reinforce a new story and therefore a new life.